i watch television

yeah harvey.

2008-11-11T23:08:00.000-08:00

Harvey Fierstein: Historic for Some, Same Old Shit for the Rest

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harvey-fierstein/historic-for-some-same-ol_b_142170.html

While we dance in the streets and pat ourselves on the back for being a nation great enough to reach beyond racial divides to elect our first African-American president let us not forget that we remain a nation still proudly practicing prejudice.

I have heard this day described as one of transcendence where Americans came together to prove that we are, above all, a nation of fairness. World witnesses wrote that we rose above ideology, politics and bigotry to achieve a great moment for America. Meanwhile, on this same Election Day, we great Americans passed laws as heinous as any Jim Crow legislation. We great Americans reached out and willfully put our name to language that denies an entire minority group their equal rights.

Of course I am referring to the states of Florida, Arizona and California passing legislation to specifically deny gay people from entering into the contract of marriage. Actually, that's not true. We can still get married, just not to each other. Yes my friends, Florida and California have now made it legal for gay men and lesbians to marry as long as we don't marry our partners. How much sense does that make?

Now, before you rise up on your high horse to holler, "We're not against Civil Unions, just Gay Marriage", let me once again explain that THE SUPREME COURT HAS STATED THAT SEPARATE BUT EQUAL IS NOT EQUAL. And even if it were, civil unions are simply not equal to marriage.

Let me give you a simple example that anyone can follow. John and Jim are registered as domestic partners and so, just like a married couple; Jim is covered by John's employee health care. That's really nice. BUT... since the IRS does not recognize civil unions or domestic partnership Jim has to pay income tax on the value of this coverage. So, unlike a married couple, John and Jim are penalized hundreds of dollars for not being married. That's not fair. That's not in the spirit of the civil union legislation. And that's just the tip of the iceberg of the inequality being offered.

Listen, my fellow Americans, I am only asking that we get sensible about this controversy. Gays are not asking for religious blessings. We are not asking for everyone to come to our weddings. We are not asking the government to force churches and synagogues to perform marriage rituals or even to allow us into their tax-exempt edifices. We are simply and forcefully demanding equal protection under the laws of this nation as tax paying, voting, property owning citizens. I want no more or less protection than granted any heterosexual to control and distribute my holdings.

State sanctioned marriage is a civil contract period. A contract is not a judgment of moral value. It is a legal agreement between two parties that testifies to a meeting of minds between those consenting entities. It is not a religious act or rite and so has nothing to do with Adam and Eve or Steve or even Harvey. I often say that if you want to really want to understand the contract of marriage just ask anyone who has been divorced. The marriage contract is one of property rights. Or maybe you can look in the bible to see what Adam had to say about divorce since Eve was his second wife.

So, while we rightfully celebrate the election of our first African American president, let us take a moment to mourn the passage of three new laws legalizing prejudice. Of course there will be those who claim that voters were only protecting the institution of marriage to whom I would suggest it is just as likely that Obama's supporters were only voting against W. Breaking the lock on my door doesn't make your home any more secure.

i heart keith olberman

2008-11-11T23:05:00.000-08:00

let's JUST be friends

2008-07-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

i just found out about stumble! and i am obsessed with it. if you don't know about it, sign up immediately. it will change your internet browsing life.

i stumbled upon this site with pictures of different animals being friends. at first i thought it was really cute.

then after seeing so many pictures, i started to get creeped out. are these animals going to have sex?

is this how evolution happens?

yep! look, tiger piglets -

cops with boobs

2008-06-22T15:37:00.001-07:00

what time is it?

2008-03-10T10:02:00.000-07:00

daylight saving time. i'm over it. especially the spring forward shift. why do i have to lose an hour of sleep? sleeping is what i do best.

Daylight Savings Time w/ MC Lyte on FunnyOrDie.com

I am finally cool with Ryan Seacrest

2008-01-16T22:08:00.000-08:00

It's taken seven seasons of American Idol, jobs on morning radio, E!, every award show red carpet, and reigning in the New Year, but I have been beaten to submission and I am finally cool with Ryan Seacrest. He's not that bad. He's kind of sarcastic, but without being mean. I can respect that. And because he does stuff like this:

HIGH-FIVE HOLLYWOOD! on FunnyOrDie.com

gangsta rappers and lesbians

2007-12-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

yesterday snoop dogg was on ellen. he was introduced by some guy who handles dogs in shows. "and now for a rare dog..." and snoop walks out, ellen scratches him under his chin like a puppy and the audience goes kah-razy. these middle aged lesbians from all over the country were so thrilled to see snoop! and snoop smiled, excited to see them too. then he hugged ellen and i thought that maybe the world can make it.

To the left, to the left

2007-11-19T11:00:00.000-08:00

last night, i watched the american music awards. throughout the evening, they kept teasing a "surprising performance by beyonce". sold - can't wait. beyonce always gives 110%, i bet this is something good. then, back from break, "please welcome sugarland performing irreplaceable!" hmmm - that's the title of a beyonce song. they couldn't be covering-- then i heard it. "to the left to the left". oh no. a surprising beyonce performance? well fuck yeah, this is surprising.

Sugarland Feat. Beyonce - Irreplaceable [Live @ ama's 2007]
Uploaded by wonderful-life1989

i'm listening to lite pop rock

2007-10-22T21:59:00.000-07:00

and i'm happy to say i do not like it as much as i thought i would. i was a little nervous that they would hit me with the fray. then a little lifehouse. throw in some snow patrol and this would have been my new favorite station. but they went straight for enrique eglasias and then current backstreet boys. ew!

i was not excited about liking a station called lite pop rock. i think it has a lot to do with my anger towards bon jovi for becoming adult contemporary. not that he was a hardcore rockstar in his hey day, but he was a like the nice bad boy. i liked that little bit of rocker in him. now it's all gone, he blow dries. a lot. he's only played on stations like Q107.3. i used to listen to that when i was fourteen in virginia riding in my dad's jeep. it was the only station we could both stand. he always wanted to listen to oldies and i wanted alternative rock. or jodeci.

ugh, leann rimes just came on. i have to go change it to something cooler. like mellow rock.

remember when she liked coke?

2007-10-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

i bet she was more fun.

oh joel mchale, you're the best

2007-07-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

i love the soup. for reasons like this:

The Falafel Factor

the #1 movie? really america?

2007-07-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

who wrote this? my dad? wow. hackey gay jokes are worth $35 million.

teens are smart

2007-07-22T23:03:00.000-07:00

i’ve been revisiting some of my favorite teen dramas lately. i just watched a very special and topical 90210 this weekend – brandon gets a DUI. after lying to his parents about how it happened, brandon tells brenda to cut him some slack if he has to “bend the chronology of his downfall.”

listening to them talk i realized that teens are smart. and i need a thesaurus.

i do not have herpes

2007-07-12T22:22:00.001-07:00

Valtrex Ad

something's cooking...

2007-07-09T14:41:00.000-07:00

and it's a crappy romantic comedy. set in a very specific world of puns.

i bet there was a long list of pun taglines that weren't chosen.

You don't have to always wait to be seated.
Try one of life's specials.
Today's special might be love.
Do you have the recipe for a lasting relationship?

create your own. it's fun.

no john. no.

2007-07-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

something about travolta in hairspray makes me throw up in my mouth a little. so i made this.

Hair / Off starring John Travolta

don't blink.

2007-06-01T16:55:00.000-07:00

my television debut. i'm the girl at dippin' dots.

halfway home was a hilarious show on comedy central with LOTS of talented people. sadly, it will only be one season.

you can not take liberties with the wizard of oz

2007-05-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

i just went to see wicked. it's highly recommended, playing all over the country, and about witches. sounds great even to someone like me who isn't a fan of musicals. i get embarrassed for the actors when they sing dialogue. there's no reason to sing "hello, how are you? i'm ok, just real busy with schoolwork..." just talk normally and then sing the songs. it's kind of like how we have to experience sadness to appreciate happiness. i need to experience talking to appreciate singing. yins and yangs people.

SPOILER ALERT: (does anyone care?)
as i understood it, wicked was going to be a prequel to the wizard of oz. the musical starts off that way, but then goes right through the wizard of oz and changes key elements of the story to suit the new musical. you can't do that! the wizard of oz is a classic!

a note: prior to seeing this i did not have such strong feelings about the wizard of oz. but let me list some of the atrocities:

the wicked witch is not wicked. she is misunderstood for being green. uh, kermit already took care of that.
glinda the good witch is sort of like paris hilton but bitchier and dumber.
the wizard is an asshole.
the wicked witch wasn't really mad at dorothy.
dorothy doesn't melt the wicked witch, the wicked witch staged her own death so she could run away with the scarecrow!

WHAT?!

i will now pause for your own outrage to begin.

patricia heaton is not trustworthy

2007-04-09T10:19:00.000-07:00

i don't like patricia heaton. she can't be trusted. not b/c she opposes stem cell research, not because she would host a special called "thou shalt laugh", and not because a youtube search for her results in various shots of her cleavage. though i do dislike her for all of those reasons, but her worst offense is that she reads her children's diaries.

a while back, patty was on conan discussing her children. she brought up the fact that she reads her kid's diaries. conan questioned her and was immediately shot down as being stupid for not wanting to invade children's privacy. then she started to tell what was in the diary. in detail. on national television.

she must be stopped.

via satellite

2007-04-02T14:43:00.000-07:00

i watch television via satellite. so since i'm in LA, cable channels come through on eastern standard time. at about 1am (i'm still up and watching tv), it's 4am EST so the cable channels start showing their paid programming. i occasionally check in to see what the masses are buying.

i stumbled upon this. "rejuvenique" and linda evans. this charming mask helps you look younger. it also helps you look like a murderer.

are rappers bored?

2007-03-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

i hate this song. jim jones sounds like he is sleeping.

american idol stylists are mean

2007-03-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

sanjaya is not the most talented singer on american idol and he probably wont win, but the stylists on AI should not be allowed to play with him like this. he is only seventeen and he has no idea he can tell the stylists that no, he does not want to look like a cross between shirley temple and sandra bernhard. check him out...

week 1: kind of normal. a little over zealous with the curling iron, but ok.

week 2: michael jackson

week three: the rachel?

week four: this is the shirley/sandra 'do that is just mean.

of course i can't wait to see what they do to him next week. but still, it's mean right?

UPDATE 3/21: everyone looked better last night, they even let melinda doolittle out of her matronly dresses. check this out: votefortheworst.com sanjaya is going to win.

UPDATE 6/12: well it goes without saying that sanjaya was the best part of american idol. i never voted for a contestant on any other season and i voted for sanjaya. then i found out that he's not real.
The Sanjaya Installation

i have luke warm feelings towards alpacas

2007-03-14T15:43:00.000-07:00

for no other reason than i just found out about them. and aren't they just small llamas?

i have seen this commercial several times now, usually late at night with no warning:

this is an odd infomercial commercial. it's suggesting that i can find financial security and spend more time with my family by starting an alpaca farm. really? but i've never heard of alpacas. people don't eat them, drink their milk or wear their fur do they?

upon further research, i love alpacas.com tells me that alpacas are the "world's finest livestock investment." turns out their fleece is turned into the most luxurious garments in the world. sounds delicious.

i love design shows

2007-03-13T14:43:00.000-07:00

particularly 'design on a dime' on hgtv. they spend $1000 (actually much more than a dime) to design a room in your house. sometimes they are good: i once saw them make a murphy bed out of a desk and it was spectacular.

sometimes they are bad: design coordinator kelly hung these scary plants on the wall because she "wanted to put plants in the room but wasn't sure how." well kelly, how about in a pot on a table?

nope, not for kelly. she thought nailing moss to a plank and then tying a staghorn fern to that with fishing line was the way to go. they look like green organic deer antlers. gross.